MAY 28, 2022
In his younger days he never really tried to push his thoughts into the darkness of the abyss, not knowing whether someone could possibly be waiting for him. How was he to know that if by an off-chance, someone else plunged down, that perhaps they could meet in the middle? As he aged, the yearning for companionship dwindled inversely to his arrogance to keep diving into the unknown.
The coffee machine in the office suite is guarded by an army of silver cutlery and ivory towered paper cups. “Oh, it’s you,” it almost says with an eye roll. “Again.” When a sample of coffee is requested, it cranks and whines and complains until finally complying to serve; usually needing me to wipe my sleeves after.
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As I inch closer to my first transaction, I’m growing increasingly anxious. There’s a combination of stress and satisfaction when your hard work comes to fruition in your own business. I’ve noticed that the fluctuations in my psyche are upward trending. On Monday I’ll start off at a 100, Wednesday I’m at 20, and by Friday I’m at 101. The pendulum swings wildly, I empathize with anyone that gets off the ride.
I’m struggling to cross the finish line, and it’s driving me crazy.
Our buyers have received the clear to close from their bank (which is probably the biggest concern most sellers have) and now it’s on my client to go through with her contract. However, just like most buyers right now, she’s having a tough time finding another house to purchase — it’s a Catch 22 scenario. I’ve caught myself frustrated at times because of my seller’s lack of preparation, but I calm myself down knowing that some things are just out of our control.
I made the mistake of writing down what I’d spend my first commission on (online ads, website design, headshots). This violated a cardinal rule I have: don’t count commission unless the deal’s closed. There’s a good reason behind this and it’s along the lines of how Murphy’s law will wreak havoc because you’ve jinxed it. As Michael says: I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
Although there doesn’t seem to be any progress day by day, I have to keep reminding myself that it’s supposed to be difficult. I think because I really looked forward to using my first commission to help scale my business, I started forgetting about the Why behind my goals. Don’t get me wrong, money is great and I really enjoy spending it — but time and time again, whenever I’ve put money first I’ve never accomplished what I set out to.
